Wlliam Gilmore Simms
Southward Ho! A Spell of Sunshine >> Chapter XVII / How the Bilious Orator Essayed >> Page 403

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Novel (Romance) | Redfield | 1854
Transcription A LOVE STORY. 403
guests. You have no right, in this way, to mortify your neigh-
bors' flesh. Have you no sense of the evil which you are doing
�no bowels of sympathy for those of other people ? Is it pride,
or indolence, or mere blindness and ignorance, which thus ren-
ders you reckless of what is due to humanity and society, and
all that fine philosophy which the Roman epicure found essential
to reconcile to becoming sensibilities the mere brutish necessities
of the animal economy ? You must import and educate your
cooks. You must appreciate justly the morals of the kitchen.
You must study with diligence, night and morning, the profound
pages of the Physiologic de Gout ; you must forswear those
streams of lard, those cruel abuses of the flesh, those hard bakings
of meats otherwise tender; those salt and savage soddenings of
venison, otherwise sweet ; those mountains of long collards, in-
adequately ; boiled and those indigestible masses of dough,
whether in the form of pies, or tarts, or biscuit, which need a
yesty levity before they can possibly assimilate with the human
system. We have often thought, seeing these heavy pasties
upon your tables, that, if they could only command a voice, they
would perpetually cry out to the needy and devouring guest, in
the language of the ghosts to Richard the Hunchback � 'Let
us lie heavy on thy soul to-morrow.'"
Here was a pause. Our orator had fairly talked himself out.
Have you been speaking, sir ?" was the artlessly-expressed
inquiry, of Selina Burroughs.
" Good heavens, my dear little creature, you do not mean to
say that you have been sleeping all the while !"
Here was. a laugh !
Oh! no, sir,�I merely wished to suggest that there is a story
due to us from some quarter, and if you are in voice, sir,� I do
not see who can better satisfy our expectation than yourself."
Voice ! I never was in better voice in all my life ! You shall
have a story and, in tribute to yourself, it shall be a love-story."" Oh ! thank you a love story."" A love story, and of the red man."
Oh ! that will be curious enough."" It shall be as malicious and pathetic, and sad and humorous,
and sedate, and fantastical, as Kotzebue himself could have
desired."