Wlliam Gilmore Simms
Beauchampe; or, The Kentucky Tragedy. A Tale of Passion. >> Chapter IV >> Page 40

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Page 40

Novel (Romance) | Lea and Blanchard | 1842
Transcription 40 BEAUCHAMPE.

thing on this subject to make us wiser and better. Come,
my dear,�let us go to God."" I cannot,�not to-day, dear Mrs. Thackeray."
Ah, Margaret, why not ? It is to the church, of all
places, you should now go."
What ! to be stared at ? To see the finger of scorn
pointing at me wherever I turn ? To hear the whispered
insinuation ? To be conscious only of sneer and sarcasm on
every hand ? No, no, dear Mrs. Thackeray, I cannot go
for this. Feeling this, I should neither pray for myself,
nor find benefit from the prayers of others. Nay, they
would not pray. They would only mock."" Margaret, these thoughts are very sinful."" So they are, but I cannot think of any better. They
cannot but be sinful since they are mine."" But you are not wedded to sin, dearest. Such thoughts
can give you no pleasure. Come with me to church !
Come and pray ! Prayer will do you good."
I would rather pray here. Let me remain. I will
try to go out among the hills when you are all engaged in
church, and will pray there. Indeed I must. I must pray
then and pray there, if prayer is ever to do me good."" The church is the better place, Margaret. One prays
better where one sees that all are praying."
But when I know that they are not praying ! When I
know that envy is in their hearts, and malice, and jealousy
and suspicion-that God is not in their hearts, but their
fellow ; and not him with friendly and fond, but with
spiteful and deceitful thoughts !"
Ah ! Margaret, how can you know this ? Judge not
lest ye be judged."
It matters not, dear Mrs. Thackeray. God is here, or
there. He will be among the hills if any where. I will
seek him there. If I can command my thoughts any
where, it will be in the woods alone. In the church I can-
not. Those who hate me are there,---and their looks of hate
would only move my scorn and defiance."" Margaret, you do our people wrong. You do your-
self wrong. None hate you�none will point to you, or
think of your misfortune ; and if they did, it is only what
you might expect, and what you must learn patiently to
bear, as a part of the punishment which God inflicts on
sin. You must submit, Margaret, to the shame as you