Wlliam Gilmore Simms
Stories and Tales >> ''Bald-Head Bill Bauldy,'' And How He Went Through the Flurriday Campaign! >> Page 480

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Short Stories | U of South Carolina P | 1974
Transcription 480BALD-HEAD BILL BAULDY

cigars, I gin my `Scullion' a thundering lickin' to make him Tarn
his lessons the quicker.
"And the darn'd dirty little rascal, he runned off, soon as my
back was turned, and when I was off for my smoke in the `thick.'
He runned off, and without stopping to clean up a single dish, or
plate, or knife, or fork, or nothing thet was needcessary for the
supper table thet night! Lawd bless you, and keep you from being
sich a fool as to ixpect gratitude from man or beast. A'ter all my
lickin's and kickin's of that scullion, to show him how to 1'arn the
business, he runned away, leaving me to git on eeny how I could !
"But I didn't know nothing 'bout it jest at that time. I went for
my smoke. I hed five of them `long nines' in my pocket, and my
skin was jest as full of liquor as it could well hold, without leaking
out; and I was jist about as happy that day, as King Nebuchadozzor,
jest afore they turned him out to eat grass! I laid down at full
length, cigar in mouth, and drawed easy upon it, and I looked up and
watched how the creamy and blue clouds of smoke, twirled up and
twisted round, and floated among the tree tops and kept going up and
up, till I seed them where they stopt to rest, cla'r away up in
Heavin ! And I hed the sweetest thinkin' at thet time, 'specially
about Susannah Sykes, the purtiest white gal in all Lexington
Destrict! And it did seem to me as ef I seed her own beautiful self
or a beautiful picter of her, coming down to me, through the tree
tops, as ef she had jist come down from the blessed skies!
"I own up, I was a-feeling of my liquor, boys. The Jamaica was a
working in my brain; and what with the Jamaica, and three of them
`long nines,' I felt a leetle onsartin about the motion of the airth,
and more then onst, it did seem to me, as ef twarnt the skies a-coming
down to me, but the airth gitting upwards, and swelling onder me,
and carrying me up towards the skies; and twas then I seed Susannah,
coming through the trees. A'ter thet, come more of them happy think-
in's, and I felt all overish with happiness, when, all on a suddent,
I haird an alarum!
"There waur a shouting and a shooting! Thar waur rifle shots and
musket shots; and now I haird a yelling; and now a shouting, and
then the drums a beating and the bugles a blowing, and I know'd
thar waur a sharp scrimmage guine on!
"But, somehow I didn't feel like gitting up to go into it; for, you
see, I waur only a cook; and not a sodger; and then, agin, I hed no