Wlliam Gilmore Simms
Stories and Tales >> ''Bald-Head Bill Bauldy,'' And How He Went Through the Flurriday Campaign! >> Page 503

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Short Stories | U of South Carolina P | 1974
Transcription BALD-HEAD BILL BAULDY503
"But when I next looked, the smile was sweeter. The mouth was
shet. Thar was only the leetlest show of teeth when she smiled
agin ! And I could see that she had a sawt of loving twinkle in her
eye, all the time; and she leaned her head o' one side; and she tossed
it, shaking the long hair out, from side to side; then she shot the
fire from her eyes, straight into mine; and suddenly when I least
ixpicted any sich thing, she flung out from her body, some twenty
foot of tail, caught me round the waist, and before I could cry out,
or kick, she pulled me into her lap, and gin me sich a hug as a she
painther might give to the male one who had brought her home a
young calf to feed upon."
Bauldy Discovers the Places of Skulls and Skeletons. Great Excite-
ment. Bauldy Escapes from Captivity in the Midst of War.
"In sich a sitivation as this, I think men, its reasonable that a man
should licker."
We all agreed with him and liquored accordingly.
"Well, now," said he, resuming, "Jist you consider my fix! Thar
I was, setting in that strange critter's lap, with her tail quiled all
about my body, and not able to move, while she hugged me to her
buzzom, and kissed me, j ist as of I was her newly married husband !
"Up to that minnit, I hed not seen that she had a tail at all!
She looked, for all the world, like a nateral Injin woman, only she
was a heap purtier, and a thousand times cleaner than the best on 'em.
"She hed kept the tail quiled onder her, jist as a snake quiles
himself; and when she throwed it out, it was by a quick jerk, and
it worked round me, tight as a thunder snake, when he's got a
rattler in his gripe! As I tell you, her body, all on it, was jist as
smooth as any Ingin woman's; but the tail was raal alligator; it was
a scaly tail, scales all over, only working twenty times more easy
than any alligator's.
"And, setting in her lap, tied to it, I may say, she kissed me on my
cheeks and mouth, and bit me, every time till the blood come! She
had raal genovine dogteeth, or shirk's, I reckon !
"But, she didn't mean to bite or hurt me, that's sartin. She did
nothing but squeeze and fondle! And 0! Lawd, how I thought upon