Wlliam Gilmore Simms
Stories and Tales >> ''Bald-Head Bill Bauldy,'' And How He Went Through the Flurriday Campaign! >> Page 513

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Page 513

Short Stories | U of South Carolina P | 1974
Transcription BALD-HEAD BILL BAULDY513
punched me in the rear, with his sword, 'tell I went ahead. I tried
my best to tell 'em every thing, but they gin me no answer 'cept in
cusses, and no sawt of satisfaction 'cept in kicks ! All they'd say was,
" `Keep your jabber 'tell you gits before the drum head court
martial.'
"And twan't long before they got to camp ; and twas a mighty
great supprise to me to diskiver that the camp was jist whar I had
left it months ago; and, when I calkilated, and looked about me, I
was more supprised to find that I had landed jist at a p'int, that
took me back to my old tree, whar I used to smoke my long nines
on the sly!
"I could now onderstand that, in the scrimmage with the Ingins,
they had licked the red devils off, gin 'em chase, and then come back
whar the tents were all left standing, onder a rear guard.
"Well, they soon hed me in camp and up before the Gineral and
all the off'sers; and thar, right in front of me, stood the cussed leetle
dirty scamp of a scullion boy, that I used to lick so, every day, to
Tarn him his edication as a cook. The moment I seed him, I smell'd
a snake! The ongrateful varmint, a'ter all I hed done for him to
ratify agin me
"But I hedn't much time to look at him, or to think of him either;
for thar' was the Gineral looking at me, with a great black thunder-
storm over his eyes, and them sot upon me, as of he meant to blast
me black with the lightning! He did look bigger than ever; and
blacker than ever; and his nose was redder than ever; and as much
like a great firecoal, hot as blazes; and as he tuk off his great parade
hat, with its bunch of feathers, and dashed it down upon the table, he
fair snorted at me, like an angry bull at a yaller handkerchief!
"And I fell all over in a heap, wilting up, and running together,
and quaking, like a great platter of seablubber, jist brought ashore by
the rollers.
"Says he, with a v'ice of thunder
" `What hev you got to say for yourself, you scoundrel?'
"That tuk me all aback agin! I hed'nt the strength to say nothing;
and I shook all over! My tongue was dried up fair, and stuck fast
to the roof of my mouth ! Then says the Gineral :
" `He feels his guilt! Read the charges and pacifications, Mr.
Adwokit!'