Wlliam Gilmore Simms
The Cub of the Panther: A Hunter Legend of the ''Old North State'' >> Chapter Seven: Doric and Corinthian in the Same Building >> Page 83

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Novel (Romance) | The University of Arkansas Press | 1997
in mine; and we hevn't got a morsel of bacon left in the smoke-house.
It's a raal godsend to them that's got teeth to eat left, that our friend,
Mike Baynam, brought that buck here to-day, else I don't well know
whar you would have found your dinner; and one thing I kin say, I
always did see that when you was worst off with your narves your hap-
pytite was prime; and nobody ever played a better stick than you when
thar was a venison steak set before you."
Mrs. Jane Carter collapsed, and seemed about to faint, but, as Betsy
Moore made no effort to offer assistance, the fit passed off, the amiable
widow recovered with reasonable promptitude, and was relieved by her
own personal application of the scent-bottle. She waved her hand, with
imperial manner, to her sturdy sister, who showed herself so insensible
to the delicacy of her nerves, and Betsy Moore retired from her pres-
ence, muttering as she went:
"It's the cussedest thing in the world to hev to deal with wanity, and
rheumatism, and narves, all at onst! Now, I'm thinking that hafe the
fool-folks thinks that it's mighty consekential to make believe they're
sick, so as to hev people waiting upon 'em, and looking oneasy, while
they're grunting, when they're only grunting for thar own satisfaction.
I reckon it's me that's spoiled my fine sister. Ef 'twant for me, she'd hev
to give up her fine airs, and git out of this easy chair, and tend to her
business herself. She hasn't been a well woman sence she got that easy
chair; and thar she'll set from morning to night, thinking over the
grammar, and the dictionary, and saying to herself all the fine speeches
she's ever larned out of the books. I'll hev to git shet of her, and leave
her to herself, of it's only to cure her of her rheumatiz and wanities. Ef
'twant for Rose, I'd hev left her long ago; for her fool-talk makes me
hafe sick at the stomach hafe the time."
When she emerged from the hall to the piazza, Mike Baynam was
nowhere visible at first. Looking about, however, the old maid discov-
ered him slowly pacing to and fro, among the groves just in front of the
dwelling, some hundred yards away.
"Well," said she, somewhat relieved, "I'm glad he hasn't haird what
Jane Carter's been saying. I was afeard, all the time, that he would hear;
and 'twould be mighty monstrous and vexatious to him to know that,
after all he's done for the family, Jane Carter should begin now to talk
of obligations! obligations! Lawdamarcy! What fools some women
air, and partickilarly them as has, besides the narves and the rheuma-
tism, them two worser ailments, the wanity of big idees, and no meat in
the meat-house, and mighty little corn in the crib!"